Cascade
by ReignEmpathy
Summary: A human at Xavier's Mansion. An outcast among the outcasts.
1. Default Chapter

Warm days meant nothing when there was a soothing body of water close by. They went swimming all the time, Helena and Donny. Post-pubescent kids who weren't as much into looking at each other in bathing suits as they were into just finding some sort of exciting activity in small town America.  
Helena often times had epiphanies while lying on her back, staring at the sky. Most of the time it was blue with fluffy white clouds. She wasn't opposed to go out during a rainstorm though, surrounded by water, being pelted with water. Small wonder she was born a Pisces.  
This particular day was the first day it was warm enough to go swimming. A lack of common sense made them not realize that the lake floor had shifted over the winter, and what was once shallow enough to swim safely in, was no longer so safe.  
And Donny never could swim very strongly. He never felt the need to develop a strong technique. They were quite content to just wade or float all day long. Helena found and marked the infernal spot which would be Donny's undoing, and they never ventured there.  
This particular day, Helena was counting off her lofty ideas, her goals that could never be accomplished, her dreams that didn't really make any sense. All because Donny would listen. He took pride in the fact and thought that someone would confide in him. He cherished the feeling of belonging, of being important.  
"I know I'll somehow change the world!" Helena exclaimed.  
Donny nodded. "I know you will," he assured, probably just humoring her, yet also trying to be supportive. He felt he could not just simply listen, he had to give something back.  
Helena, still on her back. The ways of the world were a beautiful thing. She felt extremely lucky to be able to lay there, almost infantile, it what seemed to be a never ending cycle of being rocked back and forth by waves created from passing boats. Helena supposed she should have been feeling angry at something, but it was impossible. Not on days like these. Why waste your life on such thoughts, she figured. She just could not foresee sacrificing the joy of pure and utter happiness.  
A tired cliché: all good things must come to an end.  
Helena marked the spot that Donny was never to go. That was last summer. This summer, the drop off point was further inland.  
Donny had ventured there. The first thing Helena heard was a slight, very slight, splash of water. Donny had gone under. Just playing? That's what she thought, until she saw him flailing, gasping for breath. Then she realized what exactly had happened.  
Helena froze in her spot. Why couldn't she just move?  
Finally, she did. She got to Donny, his eyes wide with terror. She was there in time, she thought, she could save him. "It's ok," She said aloud. But could Donny really here her?  
Helena grabbed him, forgetting she wasn't a very strong woman, and she would have a hard time carrying Donny in her arms when there was no ground to stand on. They both became submerged. The water wasn't so friendly anymore. Despite the summer warmth, it was icy. Perhaps it was simply the feeling that death was near. Helena struggled to bring herself and her friend to the surface. Water rushed into her mouth.  
Inside her mind, she cried out. She had to get to the surface. Not for her, for her friend. Donny was so innocent. He didn't deserve this. He wasn't going to die from a simple mistake, he would die old and satisfied with his life. He would eventually come to remember this day and feel fortunate that he had lived.  
Helena's own life flashed before her. She had hopes for the sake of Donny, and she could only hope the same for herself.  
An hour later, the companions were not celebrating their triumph. Donny was not giving thanks for being saved. Helena was at the hospital, and she had just received word that Donny would not survive. 


	2. Making It Known

"I killed Donny, It's my fault he died." Helena thought bitterly. "I could have helped him, but I didn't" She was out for a walk through her downtown. People were everywhere. Some, knowing her and knowing what she'd been through, stopped to give their condolences. She had to go home. She couldn't bear the thought of breaking down in public.

The funeral had been a month ago, but she couldn't expect to be over it so soon. Would she ever really be over it? Her parents, always the mentors, had assured her it was ok to mourn, as long as she didn't let it overwhelm her. 

How could it not overwhelm her? Donny was dead. Helena could have saved him, but she was too weak. Right there, right then, Helena promised herself she would never, ever be too weak for anything. "This time my weakness killed someone, it'll never happen again." Helena was disgusted with herself.

She trudged into her house. Her mother noticed her scowl and tried to say soothingly, "How are you feeling, dear?"

Helena wasn't having any of it. 'How do you think I'm doing?" She wanted to scream. However, she contained herself. From all the studying she did, she should have known bottling up her feelings was a dreadful mistake.

Pressure in her temples. She wanted to scream, to somehow let her feelings known. Helena, sadly, was never very good at articulating the things that rarely perturbed her. She'd rather talk about beauty, grace, or happiness.

'You look so angry, dear," Her mother noticed. "Maybe you should go lay down? Get some rest."

"Mother...:" Helena started, "no amount of rest could ever EVER tame how I'm feeling at this moment." A sudden wave of sorrow overcame her. That's how her feelings were these days. Sometimes she was able to find a few moments of peace, only to feel guilty moments later for daring to ignore the lamenting she was supposed to be going through. A constant wave of tranquility and anguish. 

Her mother stated, matter-of-factly, "I know you're sad, but you can't go on like this."

"If you were in my spot," Helena countered, "what would you do?"

It was a spot they found themselves in almost daily. Her mother, not wanting to see her beloved daugher suffer, came off as insensitive. Helena, lost in a world of depression, found it insensitive of herself to feel any slight joy. 

She imagined Donny, what he would be doing today. Probably would be in the lake right now, it was a very nice day. He had loved the water almost as much as she. He called it a mutual respect for the wonders of H20. What had they been doing that day, before they got in the water? Helena could barely remember, and that ate her up. What had Donny been talking about that day? That particular day.

She had forgotten.

Losing all sense of the control she desperately clinged to, Helena let out a piercing scream.

Instantly, the kitchen door slammed shut. Light bulbs burst. Her mothers knick knacks flew off the shelves and crashed to the floor.

Helena stopped. They were astonished. There was so much broken glass.

"Helena?" Her mother gasped. "Are you a..." she could hardly say the word. "mutant?"


	3. Strange Days

Sent away. Rather then talk it out, be supportive, be PARENTS, they had sent her away. To some school in faraway New York, to LIVE, and they couldn't even really afford it. And it wasn't because of status.   
  
After everything that's happened. And they don't even know the half of it.  
  
"I have to be honest with you, sir," Helena told Charles Xavier as he interviewed her for inclusion into his school. "I'm not a mutant."  
  
One of the adults/teachers/whoever he was snorted. "Yeah kid? Then why did I see you make that book go floating to the other side of the room? Why did I see you make yourself float? Huh?"  
  
"Levitate, you mean?" Helena asked, her nerves already wearing thin. "I'm a human. I'm not like you. I read books, I studied things."  
  
Blank faces. No one could see where she was getting at. Helena sighed.  
  
"I developed my sixth sense. I developed the part of my brain that everyone else rarely uses. I did that through practice and study--not a genetic mutation."  
  
That same beastly adult snorted once again. "Then why are you here?" He asked her coldly.  
  
"My parents believe is science, not the supernatural. A sixth sense, they can't believe. All mystical. Not proven. But every day on TV you see mutants--people with special powers. So the first time they witness my gift, what do you think they assume? And hah…yes, I've tried reasoning with them. But I suppose they're beyond reasoning."  
  
The professor stated kindly, "Well, human or mutant, you've obtained a very special gift, and no matter what, I can teach you to control that gift. Welcome home."  
  
Helena had her own room. Why, when other students shared? Was she being ostracized?  
  
She had wild daydreams about her friends coming to bail her out. Then she realized she hadn't spoken to anyone since Donny's death.  
  
Alone. Banished to a place where I STILL don't belong.  
  
Helena cried herself to sleep, as she was accustomed to doing every night. This time, for different reasons.  
  
The next morning she was up in time for breakfast. Every student and staff member had questions to ask her.  
  
"How old are you?"  
  
"Almost eighteen. I would have graduated from my high school in a week."  
  
"Where're you from?"  
  
"Florida."  
  
"Don't you miss your friends?" The scruffy adult asked. Why was he here, anyway?  
  
"I only miss one person," Helena's eyes started to tear up.  
  
"Aww, your boyfriend?" He asked with a mocking smile.  
  
"No, not my boyfriend." She mumbled, looking away.  
  
The professor was able to sense the emotional distress coming from her. Oozing from her, more likely. He said aloud, "Logan, cease."  
  
"Yes, LOGAN, you'd better cease," Helena thought bitterly.  
  
After breakfast she tried to play kickball with a few fellow students, but couldn't get into it. She ran over to Charles and asked, "If I was supposed to graduate in a week, am I only going to be here for a week?"  
  
"You'll stay on to further learn how to use your powers, how to control them." He sensed the disappointment radiating from her. "It won't be so bad. You'll make lasting friendships. And this is the greatest thing you could ever hope to learn."  
  
Helena stalked back to her room. She could leave after she turned eighteen. No matter how badly they wanted to help her "control her power", she could always leave as soon as she was a legal adult.  
  
Right outside her bedroom door, that man came right around the corner. Smiling when he saw her, he seemed to quicken his pace so he could reach her before she went inside and shut the door in his face.  
  
Logan laughed. "How are you liking it here so far?"  
  
"I'd rather be at home." She said, staring out the window. "I'd rather be graduating from my own school."   
  
He said some smart-ass comment she didn't hear. She didn't bother to ask for him to repeat it.  
  
"I always thought my parents were the smartest people in the world. They loved science. They craved to know how things really worked. I never could believe they'd be so ignorant." Still staring out the window, she struggled to avoid his gaze.  
  
"So, talked to the boy back home today? You can make phone calls, provided they're not too long."  
  
Helena sighed. She would get tired of this real fast. "There IS no boy back home."  
  
"Hmm, a loner huh?" Logan chuckled. "Probably not willingly though, right?"  
  
Helena was in the process of turning and going inside her bedroom. She stopped dead in her tracks. "No, not willingly," she whispered hoarsely. He sensed she was about to cry.  
  
"Uh… well, it'll be alright kid." He patted her on the back.  
  
Helena disappeared into her room. Logan walked away, headed towards his own room. As he turned the corner, the bulb in the light fixture on the wall shattered. He knew exactly why, too. 


	4. Rejected and Dejected

The week she was supposed to graduate, Helena received many cards and letters from former friends. On one hand, she wished she could be there celebrating with them. On the other hand, she recognized their letters as sounding contrived and insincere. She wasn't one of them anymore. She was a mutant. And she wasn't even that. Helena didn't even fit in at the place she was banished to.  
  
Once upon a time there was this girl who chose only to look at the bright side of life. She didn't see the sense in being angry, being sad. She had dreams, hopes, wishes. She stated time and again "I will change the world." That girl, sadly, died with Donny. Little by little, until the last bit blew away with the aftermath of his death. At this time, Helena was still a prisoner of her own consciousness.   
  
And it wasn't that nobody tried to help. Her elders at the school sensed her distress. She chose not to talk to them. She began to feel comfortable around them, so it wasn't a matter of that. Helena just had the urge to keep things inside. The number one thing a person like her should never, ever do.  
  
It was a week after she was to graduate. Her parents had somehow scraped together enough money for a visit.   
  
"When am I coming home?" Helena demanded, the second she caught sight of them. "After I turn eighteen, right? I've been taking classes, I can control this power I have."  
  
"Helena…dear…" Her father seemed to be struggling to let out a sentence that just FELT like it was better left unsaid. "We can't DEMAND that you stay here after you turn a legal age, but we CAN demand that you not come back home-"  
  
"It's not that we don't WANT you!" her mother interjected, trying to save face. "It's just--we don't feel like it would be in your best interest to come back."  
  
Her father continued, "You know how poorly mutants are received. We made the mistake of not hiding where you were going…I just don't think that if you came back, it would be an entirely welcoming atmosphere."  
  
Three hours and a million tears later, her parents were gone. God knows when she'd see them again. The professor assured her that when she had her birthday, she didn't have to leave if she had nowhere to go. In fact, he had said, there were plenty of wonderful opportunities here awaiting a girl with her talents.  
  
"Bullshit." Helena said aloud, sitting in the den and rethinking all that had happened that day. She-didn't-even-belong. She was included in a sideshow without being a freak.  
  
"What's bullshit?" Logan asked, coming in and sitting next to her.  
  
"Being banished from your hometown. Being told not to come back home. Being told there's a place for you here when you're NOT A MUTANT!" Helena tried to stare him down. He just laughed. She wanted to laugh after realizing her failed attempt at being tough, but her inner self was always on guard, never letting the happiness shine through.  
  
"Kid," Logan began, "You and I may be different scientifically, but there sure as hell are a lot of similarities between you and I. You may as well be one of us. And hell, If I get attached to a place like this, then why can't you?"  
  
Her eyes were glazed over, she was only half listening. "Let me tell you a story," She suggested. "It's about a boy named Donny. Let me add that there was this girl. They were friends." Helena began to tell the tale. It was the first time she was able to speak about it. Wounds from the near past were ripped open. Why did it feel good? 


	5. The Cascade Comes Forth

It was a story so heart wrenching, so sorrowful, Logan guessed it could have come straight from a storybook. Slight tears forming in the corners of Helena's eyes, however, betrayed that assumption. Logan shifted his weight awkwardly, averting his gaze from Helena's soon-to-be- tearstained face. He hadn't been prepared for such a display of emotion. Helena herself, also feeling the awkwardness of the moment, had too not been ready. It was, on the other hand, a great injustice, she felt, to not tell the story. Once she began, it was difficult to finish.  
  
"Sorry that happened to your friend," were the only words Logan could manage to muster up.  
  
"Well, Helena told him matter-of-factly, "I'm learning to deal with it."  
  
They stood there for a few more minutes in silence. Helena asked him if he might like to continue talking in the comfort and privacy of her room. Logan accepted, but as they approached her bedroom, hesitated.  
  
"Isn't this kind of weird? I mean, you've only JUST graduated. You're basically still a student."  
  
Helena shook her head. She wasn't going to be alone after telling that story. "I really DON'T mind." Her tone was demanding, yet charming. Logan could see she was trying desperately to come out of her shell.  
  
Her room was scattered with clothing, music magazines, and posters of bands Logan had never heard of. "I think this is messier than MY room," he observed, laughing.  
  
"Just clear some stuff off that chair and throw it on the floor, if you want to sit down," Helena remarked as she herself chose to lay on her bed, staring at the ceiling. It felt weird having him here. Not necessarily a bad kind of weird, though. Companionship was something she did truly long for these days. It just felt so untrue to Donny.  
  
An interesting notion had entered her head. "If you're as bad as they say you are, tell me, what's the worst thing you've EVER done?"  
  
Logan smirked, thinking for a minute before saying, "I was at this bar.ten years ago? Some drunk ass there figured he didn't like my kind in 'his' bar. You probably know how it goes. He tried to rough me up so I roughed him up a bit, put him in the hospital. Not for long, though. Why, angel, what's the worst thing you've ever done?"  
  
Helena stopped breathing, stopped thinking for a moment. She had made a mistake inviting him here. She knew it.  
  
Angel. Someone else had called her that once before. "You always were the little angel," Donny would tell her, affectionately, when she backed out of doing some insidious deed.  
  
"I used to be an angel, once." Helena told him, sitting up to face him for the first time since they entered her room. "I always tried to be the voice of reason. With my friends, family, with everyone. But this one time something happened that made me realize for the first time I had a dark side."  
  
Logan was intrigued. He moved to the bed, sitting close to her. "You're lying," he told her softly. "The things you're saying, they're too masterful to be truth."  
  
"Well they ARE truth," she insisted. "There were these kids. They called themselves Nazis, but I really don't think they knew ANYTHING about being one. Donny was Jewish. And I was always pretty protective of him. And anyway, they DESERVED to have their meeting house burnt to the ground."  
  
"You burnt their house down!" He exclaimed, eyes wide with wonder and excitement. A playful smile spread quickly across his face.  
  
"Not their house," she corrected him. "their meeting house. It really was just some shack in one of their backyards. I broke in a few times to make sure there weren't any animals. I didn't want to hurt anyone, just get my point across."  
  
"Oh, girl. You're still an angel to me. Even then you were trying to look out for people.or animals. You're not fooling me!" He paused before saying anything further. He had handled rejection before. He had never cared enough to take it to heart. This time, something that he couldn't quite place was different. He tried his best to find the right words. "What would you say if I kissed you right now?"  
  
Silence. She said nothing. She wouldn't even look at him. "Really. I want to, but not if you don't want me to."  
  
Still nothing. Why did she refuse to look at him? He silently prayed that she would at least look at him, so he might have some sort of idea what she was thinking.  
  
Her head lifted, nodding yes for him to continue doing what he wanted. He seemed to be delighted. She closed her eyes. She had kissed boys before, but never was it magical like described in the movies. "I'm waiting for the eruption of emotion they tell me is supposed to happen in all the romance books." She disclosed to him. Two warm-wet lips touched her cheek briefly, then it was over.  
  
"Why won't you look at me?" Logan asked.  
  
"I have to sleep for a bit." She told him. "Talk to you later."  
  
He got up to leave, utterly confused. "You know where my room's at," he told her. "Maybe after you've slept awhile you could come visit me."  
  
Then he left. Helena was by herself, wanting to throw up. Something felt odd. The magical feeling that she had been counting on never came. Hastily getting under the protective covering of her blanket, she laid her head on her pillow. Tears cascaded from her eyes. That night she was crying for every pain that had ever been inflicted upon her. 


	6. The Mind's Cyclone

"I have to leave this mansion," Helena decided for herself the very next morning. "I did not want to come here, and when I came to terms with being here, this isn't what I wanted for myself." Like a wolf to a lamb. That's what Logan was. It was a bit too stereotypically Harlequin romance for her liking. He was gruff and alluding at first. Then he took a chance to get to know her. She poured all her grief out onto him. Aww, now they're in love.  
  
But she didn't love him. She didn't even know if she LIKED him.  
  
And then the memory of her parents' rejection of her coming home sprung to mind. These days, she was attempting to get in touch with her old self. It seemed that girl was dead at the bottom of a lake. Helena wondered if she could ever swim to the surface.  
  
She thought of Logan, and what had occurred between them the night before. He had said himself, as they walked toward her room, that she was basically still a student. Yet still, he had asked for permission before he kissed her, something she had more or less given to him. She had expected more from the whole experience.  
  
Undoubtedly he would come to her room today, or corner her in some part of the mansion. He'd either want to talk about last night, or he'd try for round two. Helena suddenly became very nervous about leaving her room.  
  
Her computer was turned on. It received the notification that her address had received an email. She had only to guess whom this was from. With a shaky hand and an unsure conscience, she opened her inbox. There was one message waiting for her. Her eyes scanned over the message quickly.  
  
Helena, If I made you uncomfortable last night, I apologize. I would like to see you again , though. In private, not like how we usually see each other.  
  
He hadn't even signed his name. He must have thought himself special, that he was the only man in her life that would have put her in a situation like the one they found themselves in last night. She wrote him back. As her fingers glided over the keys she noticed she had no idea what the point of the email would be. She told him to meet her at the gate of the mansion at noon.  
  
But why? Here he was, this force that repelled her, yet she was willingly receiving him. Helena had to sit and think. Too many thoughts were crammed into her head. Was she going insane?  
  
It came to mind exactly why she was in this position to begin with. Scoffing at her parents' ignorance, she next turned her thoughts to her community, the community that refused to accept her now that her dirty little secret was out.  
  
Part out of wrath, part out of anguish, she picked up the lamp on her night table and sent it crashing against the farthest wall. Displacement. Helena wanted to scream. She was sweating, her heart was pounding. This was World War II, she was the Jew. Except. she wasn't. With a muffled scream, more various objects were destroyed. A baseball bat, conveniently placed under her bed, took out her computer. That computer was her parents, her neighbourhood, this mansion, destroyed. And what about Donny? She screamed. Loud and shrill. As she screamed, every little bit of stress eating away at her insides dripped from her body and evaporated. Nothingness. Serenity. What a wonderful world it was, Helena thought, finally closing her mouth and making no noise.  
  
Someone knocked at her bedroom door. Of course it was Logan, saying he had gotten her message but it was half past noon and she hadn't been at the gate waiting. Then he surveyed the mess around him.  
  
"What the hell happened?" He exclaimed, not so much looking for an answer.  
  
Helena laughed. "I don't know, but I feel better now. Do you want to go into town? It's a nice day and I feel like walking around."  
  
Logan, pleased that she had requested his accompaniment, followed her out the door. 


	7. Everything He Ever Wanted To Know About ...

As they sat in a small diner not too far from the mansion, Helena wondered what had compelled her to ask Logan to come along. The questions would start soon, she knew it.  
  
Sure enough, they did, but not about the subject she had expected.  
  
"Can you explain to me what your powers are all about? I really don't get it."  
  
Helena informed him, "I forget the exact number, but people only use a small part of their brain. I studied how to use more of my brain, and I gained my psychic ability. Everyone can do it, it's just a matter of knowing how."  
  
Logan snorted. "That sounds like a lot of new age nonsense."  
  
Helena's eyes became inflamed. "Well YOUR powers seems like a bunch of comic book bullshit!"  
  
Silence. But just for a moment. She started laughing, persuading Logan, temporarily stunned, to join in. At first it was just a few giggles, but soon their laughter and grown in intensity. The feeling was so jovial Helena feared he might try to kiss her again.  
  
Then he brought it up. "So we need to talk about last night." Helena's mood turned sour. Here they were, enjoying a perfectly humourous moment, and he wanted to talk about THAT. She began counting off ways to avoid discussing it with him, but then she figured she had given in to his kiss, she could at least talk about it if he wanted her to.  
  
"What is it about last night you want to discuss," She asked with the faux innocence of a four-year-old.  
  
He looked incredulous that she should even have to ask exactly WHAT it was he wanted to talk about. But he humoured her. He made his every word a juggernaut. Blunt was always his style, no sense in softening his blow now. "I kissed you. I need to know how you feel about that, since you didn't really let me know at the time."  
  
Helena shrugged. "I nodded when you asked me if you could, so I didn't mind."  
  
"Would you do it again, I mean, if I asked you to?" He gazed at her, searching for some hint of an expression on her blank face.  
  
"Well," She thought for a moment. "I don't know about that."  
  
He looked down. "Then you shouldn't have let me do it to begin with."  
  
Maybe she wasn't interested in him because of his arrogance that so blatantly radiated from his body when she first came to the institute. Or maybe it was because she still missed Donny, and any person who wasn't Donny wasn't worth her time. One thing was for sure. He didn't so much as glance at any of the other women around them. That's how Helena knew she had a massive problem on her hands.  
  
".you're so young anyway, I shouldn't really have set my sights on you. But your face.and I could tell you were going through so much pain." Logan was in the middle of a diatribe she hadn't been bothering to listen to. Feelings of guilt became overwhelming. She would listen to the rest of what he had to say. "I started out wanting to help you, to actually play the part of who I'm supposed to BE at this damned place. But REALLY look at who I am. I guess it's unavoidable. I'm just an animal."  
  
"Don't get yourself so worked up over me!" She exclaimed to him. "I'm a fuckup! And I'm completely FUCKED up. And utterly not worth it." She laughed temporarily at her self description then went on. "If this had been a few months ago, maybe I would have been a pleasant girl to be with. But not now. This new me isn't someone you want to get involved with. So uh.this is real cliché and all, but let's be friends."  
  
He smiled at her attempt to spare his feelings, but 'friendship' was something he was growing tired of. He wondered if he really could handle rejection one more time. "You're still so young, anyway," he mused, "I guess it's for the best. Fuck, I'm getting so old."  
  
After they finished their meal, the decided to head back to the mansion. The ride home was silent, but not uncomfortably silent. Logan's words, "I'm just an animal," played through her mind again and again. She wondered if this posed a threat. Other girls at the mansion had warned her that he SEEMED scary at first, but he was actually a teddy bear. Helena assumed he didn't have some sort of desire for them. She looked at him for a moment, before he turned his head and met her gaze. She smiled, then looked away quickly. "It'll be alright being friends with him," she told herself, "as long as I don't give him any reason to think I'm interested in him."  
  
She decided to stay put afterall. 


	8. Images

All that action that was rumoured to take place here didn't happen. At least, Helena never saw any action. There were never evil mutants they had to put into their proper place. Sometimes anti-mutant zealots would start some shit, and the adults at the institute had to teach the kids about how to defend themselves in light of such attacks, but that was as far as it went. This was life. It wasn't a comic book. It wasn't a movie. It was just plain life. Helena was glad for this, her life had been too dramatic for her to desire much more.  
  
She wasn't so sure she wanted to be a teacher. She had the option of being a mentor, or just staying along so she could learn more about her powers. Charles assured her that even though her case was different, he had seen enough things in his life to help her out. "You may not exactly be like us," he had told her, "but I'll help you out just the same."  
  
What had previously been so puzzling Helena was now settling into with new confidence and a slight amount of happiness. She talked to everyone now and again, but Logan was her only close friend. Still she was wary of him, wondering when he might let some cheesy song get to him and try to woo her with kisses and other romantic things that just weren't wanted.  
  
Helena started going into town a lot on the weekends. She was particularly fond of a smelly and dismal place called the Pit. It was a hardcore rock club and she felt like she fit right in. With every strain of music that came from the stage, Helena felt liberated. She forced Logan along once or twice, but he had complained about how "this wasn't music", laughed at the patrons' funny hairstyles, and all about made for an unpleasant time. Once she just told him if he didn't like it he could go to his redneck bars and fuck some trailer trash whore on the pool table. After that, he pretended he loved the scene. He even stopped wearing cowboy boots.  
  
Helena had discovered a fond taste for alcohol. Even though she wasn't old enough to drink, Logan felt it wouldn't do much harm to buy for her. Most of the time they would sit in the woods by the mansion, each of them with a 40, and just talk. Sometimes Helena spoke about Donny. Logan liked this topic the most. He felt like she could really open up to him. It made him feel like the greatest guy on earth. Sometimes they would go to bars and dance. Logan didn't usually like dancing, but he'd always make exceptions for her. She got really emotional when she got drunk, and would often hug him and say how glad she was to have a guy like him in her life.  
  
One night, as they were about to go to their special spot in the woods, Helena asked if Remy could come too. Logan didn't like this, but he didn't want to be unpleasant, so he said "Of course." The entire night she just laughed at anything Remy said. Logan knew this was a red flag. He was in a bad mood the entire night.  
  
She had moved into the room next to his. It was slightly bigger, but she also did it so they could slip ridiculous messages to each other under the door separating the two rooms. This was more entertaining than email, and she hadn't enough money to get a new computer, since she had destroyed her old one. Logan loved this arrangement. He could hear her moving around constantly, sometimes singing to herself. He could sense her mood improving each week she was there.  
  
"I'm dying my hair!" She called out one night, knowing he would be in his room to hear her. "I just can't stand this brown. It's so ugly, you know?"  
  
"Sure." He called back. He liked the brown. But she was always doing things like this. She was so spontaneous. God, he couldn't stand being friends.  
  
Just friends. He shook his head in disgust. It always happened to him like this.  
  
When Helena was finished dying her hair, and called him into her room to look at the finished result, he was shocked beyond words. The hair that hung to her shoulders was vibrantly red. If it were just a little longer, she would look like Jean. It was all he needed to be reminded exactly why he hated his life so much. He longed for companionship. And not this happy friends bullshit. He wanted someone he could be romantic with. He wondered why this was too much to ask. Maybe it was because of his reputation. He himself had said before he was an animal. But he wasn't so much of an animal that he couldn't settle down. And he would most certainly treat her right. "That looks nice," he told Helena, without much enthusiasm at all. 


End file.
